YuGlueOh
by Corad and Bijoux
Summary: .:Revised story with new content:. When Yugi shows up on the Kaiba Manor doorstep with a mission to be helpful, Seto is gradually pushed too far and his sanity is brought into question. Meanwhile, Tea is dealing with some intruders of her own.
1. The Invasion

**This story is formally known as "Why Me".  
**

**Bijoux: I posted this story about eight years ago now, and I've been meaning to re-write it for a while. Finally got around to it! A lot more content has been added and because of that I've decided to split this story into two chapters for easy reading. Hopefully everyone enjoys :)  
**

**As a side note, my brand of humour revolves around exaggerating personality traits, so some characters might seem OOC.  
**

**Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi and Toei Animation. Any other copyrighted material/references belong to their rightful owners.  
**

* * *

**Yu-Glue-Oh**

**Chapter One: The Invasion  
**

* * *

Even the mere _smell _of Yugi Moto had begun to drive Kaiba mad these days. Each and every morning, for the past three weeks, his _stench _had been the first thing to permeate Kaiba's nostrils. And then would come the giggling from somewhere downstairs; that adorable, girlish, innocent giggle – how Kaiba _loathed _it. Kaiba's final sense to be aggravated by said Yugi, was his vision. Yugi would barge into his room, somehow _knowing _that Kaiba was awake, a generous serving of breakfast served on a tray in his hands, a huge grin on his face. Kaiba would shuffle back to the head-post of his bed, pull his bed sheet up to his nose and demand that Yugi stay back, but the tiny Duellist would never heed his threats. He'd chuckle innocently and place the breakfast, made with love and sprinkled with joy, on Kaiba's lap. Yugi would then take his leave, giggling joyfully to himself all the way out.

Kaiba would be left alone with that _breakfast_, eyeing it as though it was contaminated. And to Kaiba, it probably was. Yugi had made it after all, and he'd made it with _love _and _affection_. Yugi, love and affection; Kaiba's three most despised things all rolled into one steaming omelette. Kaiba shuddered, chancing to pick his plate up and carry it across the room, where it was unceremoniously hurled out the window, destined to land on some poor, unsuspecting mailman.

Thoughts of bitter disposition wafted through Kaiba's mind. Didn't Yugi have _somewhere else _to destroy? Why did he have to come _here _of all places, Seto Kaiba's _personal_ manor, and parade around his notions of _love _and _joy _and _kindness_. The thought alone made Kaiba retch and he stumbled into the bathroom, heaving dramatically.

"What's happening to my house?" he rasped, quaking as he stared at his own reflection distrustfully. "How did you let this happen?" he demanded in a raspy voice, "Why was that _disgusting thing _allowed to infiltrate into my once beautiful manor?"

Needless to say, Kaiba wasn't truly expecting an answer. Regardless, he received one.

"Oh, you mean the bust I had carved of you, Seto?" a meagre, cheerful voice came from behind Kaiba. Kaiba spun around, his face sweaty, and his eyes wide enough to display windows to his instability. Yugi was crouching, old toothbrush in hand, scrubbing Kaiba's toilet. "Don't worry, I'll have it moved if you don't like it," Yugi beamed, continuing with his cleaning work as he spoke. Kaiba's wide eyes darted from Yugi, to the toilet, to the toothbrush, then back to Yugi. He found himself gripping the sides of the sink behind him, trying to keep himself standing.

"You…you've taken it too far!" Kaiba wailed. He turned back to the doorway and fled for his life. The delusional Seto coincided with Mokuba outside in the hallway.

"Oh, hey Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba asked merrily, but his question went unanswered. Instead he was grabbed by his front and pulled forcefully into the nearby broom cupboard. When Mokuba realized where he was he sighed in annoyance, "Oh, not _this _again!"

"Keep your voice down, you fool! He'll know we're here!" Kaiba hissed warningly. Just in that instant, the broom cupboard door swung open and an unsurprised Yugi merrily greeted Seto and Mokuba.

"Just thought I'd do a bit of sweeping. Clean out that bathroom floor of yours, Seto," he said cheerfully, reaching for the broom. He took it and then left, closing the door politely upon his departure. Silence lingered in the broom closet, before Seto turned his gaze back to Mokuba.

"It was three Saturdays ago, Mokuba. Why is that little _freak _still _here_? Why did he come here in the first place?" Kaiba demanded through gritted teeth.

"Oh come on Seto, Yugi isn't _that _bad. He likes us," Mokuba rolled his eyes, pushing the vacuum cleaner's handle out of his side, so it was in Kaiba's personal space instead.

"Oh, oh I get it. I get it perfectly fine here! You think I'm over-exaggerating here, blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Making this out to be the apocalypse when really it's nothing to be feared!" Kaiba scoffed crazily, forcing the vacuum back into Mokuba's direction.

"Well…_yeah_," Mokuba bluntly admitted. "I mean, you're _really_ taking this too far Seto. Just look at these _war plans _of yours! They're _crazy_!" Mokuba said, pointing with his thumb to a piece of white card that had been nailed to the broom closet door. The card depicted a bleak, potential future, in which Yugi was run over by a large Kaiba Corp tank. Flow-chart arrows then directed the beholders eyes too a shoddy drawing of a box with 'glue factory' written on it.

Kaiba's head swivelled to the door and his plans. He surveyed them with his wide eyes, _trying_ to find a flaw, but to him, there was nothing at all wrong with his diagram of Yugi's destruction. Mokuba was being pretentious; everyone knew _he _would be the one out of the two brothers laughing the loudest in joy when he was fixing his broken toys with 'Yu-Glue'. Kaiba turned back to Mokuba, his eyes browsing over the boy's face suspiciously.

"What's wrong with Yu-Glue-Oh?" Kaiba glowered. Mokuba raised an eyebrow, folding his arms and dropping his weight onto one hip.

"You have to ask?" he questioned, unimpressed. Kaiba analysed the question, knowing he had to answer right in order to regain Mokuba's allegiance.

"_Yes_?" Kaiba drawled out, more of a question itself, rather than an answer. Mokuba replied with an annoyed sigh, rolled his eyes, and then moved past Kaiba and out of the broom cupboard. Kaiba was left alone. He heard in the hallway noises of Yugi and Mokuba conversing. That brat; he was giving away his strategy-plan to the enemy. Kaiba crooked the broom closet door open the tiniest bit and stared through the slither of space he'd made, with one large, paranoid eye.

"Hey Yugi, let's go to the movies," Mokuba was saying.

"Okay, sure," Yugi replied chirpily. "Let's ask Seto if he wants to come too," he added thoughtfully.

"Nah, I don't think Seto wants to come. He's in one of his moods. Let's just ditch him, Yugi," Mokuba responded spitefully.

"Oh Mokuba, you should never treat someone badly based on their outward behaviour. I'm sure Seto is _beautiful _deep down," Yugi offered defensively. Kaiba retched again.

"How _dare _you tell my own brother not to _judge_ me!" he wailed angrily. He lacked the valour to come out of the broom cupboard and yell his displeasure at Yugi, so his wail went ignored.

Instead of a response, Kaiba heard Mokuba and Yugi giggling happily, trying to decide what movie to go see. He heard the two of them exchanging _traitorous _opinions backwards and forwards as they began to walk downstairs. Their voices soon became too distant for Kaiba to hear and he didn't stir from the broom closet until he was certain the two of them were gone.

He knew for sure when they were gone. As Yugi lacked a driver's license (and also the leg length to even drive a car), for the past couple of days he'd been using Solomon's mower as his form of transport. The loud mower engine started outside and disappeared into the distance half an hour later (what with how slow a mower travels and how loud Solomon's old mower was).

Kaiba burst through the broom closest door as soon as the noise was gone; he reached a window in time to see Yugi and Mokuba disappearing over his horizon line. Quaking with rage, stricken with paranoia, poisoned by Yugi's attempted kindness, Kaiba could utter nothing but one name.

"_Mokuba_," he hissed the traitor's name.

* * *

In the meantime, Tea was having some trouble of her own, suffering a similar dilemma to Kaiba. There were uninvited guests in her home, handling her property and raiding through her kitchen. However, without a doubt, Duke, Tristan and Joey were far from Yugi's gentle mannerisms.

Joey had made himself comfortable on Tea's couch several days ago, and was currently developing a 'handsome' butt-groove in the cushions. He'd even been so 'talented' as to have created a moat of chips and biscuit crumbs around his groove to boot. Joey was the easy one to handle though, having settled himself like this. He _knew _what he wanted and what _he _wanted was as minimally destructive as Tea could've hoped for.

Duke and Tristan on the other hand, were _less _harmless in their conquest to raid Tea's house. Oh the contrary. Their main goal seemed to be to see how much of her stuff they could get their grubby hands on before they got bored and went to someone else's house instead.

Currently, they'd discovered Tea's pet turtle, Scuffles.

"Hey! Check out this green pie, Duke!" Tristan boomed, reaching into Scuffles' tank. He plucked the withdrawn turtle from its enclosure and began to inspect it, holding it high above his head.

"Hey, that's not a _pie_, Tristan!" Duke retorted, storming over to Tristan where he yanked the turtle from his grasp. "Everyone in this entire room _knows _that this is a compacted lettuce!" he argued proudly.

"Na-ah, Duke! It's a _pie_," Tristan declared, yanking Scuffles out of Duke's hold.

"No way, Tristan! It's a _compacted lettuce_," Duke sighed irritably, yanking Scuffles back.

"Look, I think I know a green pie when I see one, Duke. You _never _eat lettuce, especially not in its original form. What would _you _know?" Tristan barked, pushing Duke in the shoulder and taking Scuffles into his own possession once more.

"Duh! I know what a lettuce looks like! Whoever heard of a _green pie_? Why would a _pie _be _green_?" Duke protested, prodding Tristan in the chest with a jagged finger, grabbing Scuffles in his other hand at the same time.

"Well why would a _lettuce_ be _compacted_?" Tristan asked, taking a step towards Duke and yanking the turtle back.

"Duh, to keep the bugs out, stupid!" Duke retorted, as though it was the most obvious thing. He went to grab the turtle back, but Tristan had taken keen offence to being called stupid and held it above his head so Duke couldn't reach it. With his spare hand he pushed Duke away.

"_You're_ stupid!" Tristan yelled.

"_No way_!" Duke growled, leaping forwards where he jumped up, managing to snag the turtle within his hold, but Tristan would not take his own hand off of Scuffles. The two began to wrestle each other, trying to take the turtle back into their own possession.

It was not long before they were using both hands, pulling back and forth, trying to yank Scuffles out of the other's grasp. It was around now, that Tea stumbled into the lounge room and screamed upon seeing what Duke and Tristan had in their hold.

"Guys, put that down!" she yelled, rushing over. But Duke and Tristan merely saw her as another threat, and both began to stumble away from her, managing to barge their way into the nearby bathroom. "Joey! Do something!" she pleaded desperately in the direction of the couch.

"Not now…_TV_," Joey responded lazily. Tea clutched her head in horror, turning to see that Duke and Tristan had shuffled their tug-of-war match to hover ominously over the toilet. She screamed and rushed into the bathroom, watching in terror, unsure of how to intervene without causing either of the boys to drop Scuffles.

But before Tea had a chance to do anything more on the subject of saving Scuffles, Tristan had devised a cunning ploy in his head. As a young boy, _Tristan _had been smart. His parents had quirked their eyebrows at their young son, and wondered aloud why he'd suggested such a dumb summer camp. But Tristan had known, even back then as a small boy, that someday, someplace, _somehow,_ 'Tug-A-War Camp' would be of use to him. That fabled camp, way back when, had taught Tristan a priceless manoeuvre. It was simple; he would pull the 'green pie' as close to himself as possible, then let go. The consequence would be epic; Duke, the pompous fool that he was, would buy into it. He would lose his footing and go hurtling backwards into Tea's bathtub, perhaps even break his butt on his landing. He'd be so stunned by Tristan's cunning ploy that he would lax hold on the 'green pie', allowing for Tristan to take it back into his hands. Oh yes, the plan was perfect; _fool proof _even. At least…that was what he _thought_. Tristan lacked an important piece of information that would surely throw a wrench into his works.

One summer, many years ago, _Duke _had gone to 'Tug-A-War Camp' as well. And Tug-A-War Camp had left a lasting effect on _him _too. So much was so, that Duke too, had devised the same scheme as Tristan. More poetic still, was the fact that the two boys attempted the manoeuvre at the exact same time.

The result was catastrophic, and through Tea's eyes it was projected in slow motion. Duke and Tristan gave a mighty pull backwards causing them both to lose their grip on Scuffles. The turtle flew into the air comically, spiralled a few times even more comically, then landed, _especially_ comically, in the toilet with a splash. Tea screamed and Duke and Tristan instantly went into a panic. In their expansive time at being boys, they had learned a crucial fact of life: Girls hated things that fell into toilets. They'd also learnt that scooping things out of toilets with their bare hands also wasn't acceptable in the eyes of girls (or anyone really).

"Uh…uh…I'll go get a scoop!" Tristan yelled frantically, pushing past Tea and Duke and rushing from the bathroom.

"Gloves! Gloves! We need gloves!" Duke chanted, racing out the room as well.

"Oh my gosh! I hate you guys!" Tea screamed, storming out of the bathroom after Duke and Tristan, intent on making their lives momentarily harder.

During all the chaos, the running, the yelling, the cursing, the banging, the rummaging, most of which took place in the kitchen, Joey slid out of his butt-groove in the couch. He found himself in the bathroom a few steps later, faced with something large and green floating in the toilet.

'Ew,' he thought. A blank look on his face, he reached up and did the unthinkable; he hit the flusher.

The toilet filled ominously with water, the green object floated higher, then back down again with the water. The green thing remained. Joey grew confused. He scratched his head for a moment, then tried the flusher again. Still no avail. He tried several more times, the water tank on the back of the toilet growing weary. Joey remained caught in the act of repetitively flushing the toilet, eventually far more interested in doing this, rather than returning to watch the TV.

* * *

It had been a few hours since Mokuba and Yugi had gone out. Kaiba was seated in the kitchen, at the table, facing the doorway, with all the lights turned off and the blinds drawn over the windows. He'd been here ever since Mokuba and Yugi had left the manor earlier that day, depriving himself of food and drink even, intent on brooding angrily here until the 'traitor' returned home. And, with the opening of the front door, it was apparent that Kaiba would need to wait no longer. Truly, it was an ominous sight to behold, the shadowed outline of Seto sitting alone in the dark kitchen. But it did not seem to faze Yugi or Mokuba as they wandered into the kitchen, laughing cheerfully.

Mokuba flipped on the light switch, illuminating the kitchen and his brother in the process. "Oh, hey Seto," he said merrily.

Kaiba merely narrowed his eyes at Mokuba and said nothing. This didn't seem to faze Mokuba, or if it did he did not opt to show it. Yugi in the meantime moved across the kitchen, a big smile on his face (as usual) as he wandered towards the fridge. Mokuba set about in the cupboards behind Seto, apparently pulling out glasses.

"How was your day, Kaiba?" Yugi merrily asked, closing the fridge and moving to the table, a bottle of lemonade in hand. Kaiba glared at him for a moment, his eyes grazing over Yugi's dorky grin and wide, bright eyes. The vision of it _repulsed _Kaiba.

"It was good," Kaiba slowly declared, then a wicked smile came over his face, "Thanks to your disappearance that is," he added. Despite this comment obviously holding the intent to hurt Yugi's feelings, it failed to have this effect.

"Oh really? That's _great_," Yugi beamed, as though he hadn't actually heard or understood what Kaiba had said. Kaiba's face fell into disarray, and then morphed back into malice once more.

Much to his surprise (though he did not outwardly display it), Mokuba placed three glasses on the table. Kaiba's angry looking eyes darted up to Mokuba, then at the glass that had been placed before him. A moment later, Yugi had undone the top of the lemonade bottle and filled Kaiba's glass up all the way, before filling Mokuba's and his own glass too.

Yugi and Mokuba talked and laughed together, each sitting down on either side of Kaiba and reliving their movie adventure. Faithful to his paranoia, Kaiba really _should've _been listening to this recap, for reconnoitre purposes, but instead he was transfixed, staring down at his glass of lemonade.

Kaiba had realized how thirsty he was. His mouth was dry and even the droplets of condensation dribbling down the side of the glass looked appealing to him. He swallowed dryly, eyeing the glass desperately. It was _his _lemonade after all, served in _his _glass, at _his _table, in _his _manor. There was _really _nothing wrong with sculling it. Even with this thought in mind, whenever Kaiba reached up to grab the glass, visions of Yugi pouring it flashed through his head. His hand drew back instantly, and fisted itself so tightly that his nails dug into his palm. Neither Yugi nor Mokuba seemed to notice this behaviour, continuing on with their conversation, blissfully unaware.

Still unbeknownst to Yugi and Mokuba, Kaiba began to quake in his seat. Sweat formed on his forehead and seeped down the side of his face painfully slow. His breathing, despite remaining unheard, became erratic. He _needed _that lemonade, but he could not bear the thought of giving in to Yugi's _sick _generosity. He was torn in two, trying hard to fight a part of him that wanted to drink the lemonade. It came to the point where he felt about ready to scream, when suddenly the doorbell saved him.

"Thank God!" Kaiba yelled, before he could stop himself. He jumped to his feet at such a speed, that it caused the table to shake violently. Uncaring to the estranged stare he was receiving from Mokuba, Kaiba moved out of the kitchen at a speed walk, heading for the front door.

From Mokuba's point of view, back in the kitchen, it was all very strange. He'd heard the doorbell, yes, and then witnessed the instantaneous reaction from his brother. Seto had then rushed out of the kitchen, and a variety of bangs, crashes and thumps could be heard, alongside noises of some sort of grateful desperation. It was as though Seto was pushing things out of the way, mindlessly destroying his own property, on his way to the front door. Ordinarily, Mokuba would sooner believe that there was a deranged gorilla stampeding around their house, but accounting for Seto's recent behaviour, he was aware of the sad truth.

Something shattered down the hallway, probably an expensive vase, then something heavy toppled to the floor, followed by several more shatters. Mokuba turned to look at Yugi, who by now was furrowing his own brow with concern. Kaiba could be heard laughing rather insanely down the hallway, alongside the sounds of destruction, before finally he reached the door and his laughter ceased.

There was utter silence throughout the manor for a moment. Yugi and Mokuba continued to eye each other with concern, neither being game enough to go see what was going on. Yugi had opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly there was a voice down the hallway.

"Um…have you seen my mower? I think I saw it coming up your driveway a little while ago. I was going to come sooner, but I was too embarrassed," the voice chuckled nervously, Mokuba soon recognizing it to be Solomon's. A silence followed this query, but it only lasted twenty or so seconds.

Kaiba began to laugh again. It started off slow and not too loud, but then it began to escalate, until there was full-blown maniacal laughter erupting from the hallway. Mokuba turned in his seat to stare at the hallway warily, wishing he could see the front door from where he was sitting. As he was doing this, a second laugh joined Kaiba's. This second laugh was nowhere near being crazy; in fact it seemed quite genuine. It had a gentle sort of heartiness to it, as though someone had told an innocent joke.

Kaiba's laughter continued on, growing louder and louder, angrier and angrier by the second. Mokuba could hear him as he even began to pummel a fist into a wall. Solomon's laughter kept up with Kaiba's, also becoming louder and more enthusiastic, until finally, Kaiba's insane laughter seemed to hit its pinnacle, resulting in the door being abruptly slammed, probably in Solomon's face.

Kaiba came waltzing back into the kitchen a moment later, a look of victory on his villainous face. Mokuba and Yugi watched him sit back in his seat with blank looks on their faces. He sat in silence for a moment, but then the pride of his victory took over and he began to laugh again, the sound of it building up as it had done just moments ago. Mokuba and Yugi eyed each other awkwardly, before settling to try and join Kaiba, each holding a fear that their silence would attract attention to themselves. The two of them laughed nervously, weakly, alongside Kaiba, their eyes darting around the room somewhat fearfully.

Luckily this ordeal didn't last too long, as Kaiba soon ran out of breath. He beat his fist on the tabletop a few times, an insane look on his face as he breathlessly laughed. Apparently elated on his 'victory' against Solomon, Kaiba then mindlessly picked up his glass of lemonade and sipped it. It took him a moment to realize what he was doing, and his expression of 'happiness' dropped. His eyes suddenly bulged and his lips puckered as though he'd eaten something extremely sour. His left eye twitched a few times before, with over-enthusiasm, Kaiba spat the lemonade out. It sprayed out of his mouth, showering the table, the duration of which was far longer than the amount of lemonade he'd even drunk.

Kaiba then resolved to sit in silence for a moment, calculating his next move under the confused and perhaps sickened stares of a silenced Mokuba and Yugi. Kaiba eventually regained his glaring expression and turned to glower at Yugi. Kaiba's eyes looked him up and down a few times, before they settled on Yugi's eyes, boring into them.

"Something's not right here," Kaiba declared in a low growl. He turned his head stiffly back to his glass of lemonade, his eyes wildly scanning over it as though there was a super computer in his brain that was analysing the glass' contents. When his brain seemed to reach a plausible conclusion, Kaiba stiffly turned back to face Yugi. "_You've spat in this_," he accused in a monotone snarl.

Either Yugi thought Kaiba was joking, or he actually _had _spat in the lemonade, for he suddenly began to giggle. Mokuba seemed to know better and kept his mouth tightly shut, sending Yugi anxious glances in the hopes it would make him shut up. Alas, Yugi paid no special heed to these glances, and a moment later Kaiba had hurled himself to his feet, screaming and roaring abuse.

It was then that Yugi realized the error of his ways. He ceased giggling, and then screamed, and then he leapt from the table. Kaiba chased him from the kitchen and eventually out of Mokuba's earshot. The younger Kaiba brother pondered for a moment on what he should do, unsure he wanted to risk getting between Kaiba and Yugi. Mokuba liked Yugi, really, but he didn't like him enough to chance getting torn in two trying to defend him.

Nearly five minutes later, Kaiba marched back into the kitchen looking thoroughly satisfied. He waltzed to the table and took another sip of his lemonade. It then dawned on him that he'd consumed more 'Yugi-ade' and he slammed the glass on the table angrily.

"Oh _god_, Mokuba! How much longer were you going to let me drink this?!" he bellowed accusingly at his younger brother. Mokuba frowned at Seto, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Kaiba shook his head in disgust, then left the room muttering "the _nerve _of some people", all the while taking occasional sips from his glass.

Mokuba could only roll his eyes.

* * *

Tea, Tristan and Duke were dumbfounded. They stood in the bathroom, confusion slathered on their faces, as they gawked down at the toilet.

"Wh…where is Scuffles?" Tea asked, her voice shaking with worry.

"Yeah, and where'd the green pie go?" Tristan added stupidly.

"It was a compacted lettuce!" Duke grumbled defensively.

"Na-ah!" Tristan yelled back. The two boys began to argue again, but Tea was too caught up staring down at the toilet. Suddenly, horror swept over her. The tank at the back of the toilet, was it…refilling? Tea felt her blood run cold, realization and dread washing over her, but this feeling was soon replaced as she then became ragingly hot.

"You…IDIOTS!" she screeched, causing Duke and Tristan to stop arguing immediately. "Scuffles, _MY _Scuffles, is gone! Flushed! And it's all _your _fault!" she screamed, resisting the urge to smack the two of them across the face.

"What?" Tristan asked.

"What are you talking about, Tea?" Duke also asked.

"Someone _flushed_, now Scuffles is _gone_! And you two _morons _are going to go down to the sewers and bring him back to me!" Tea commanded, her voice unbearably loud and ear piercing. She pointed at the distant front door and screamed "now", beginning to slap and kick at Duke and Tristan when they did not compute with her demands fast enough.

"Aww come on, Tea, it'll be okay," Duke tried to comfort.

"Yeah, it was just a _green pie_ after all," Tristan added.

This just infuriated Tea more and she thrust the front door open angrily, kicking Tristan up the backside to get him out with a vengeance. Duke sensed the same thing would befall him if he lingered at the doorway too long, and thus ran from the house squealing.

"And don't come back until you find him!" Tea bellowed finally, slamming the door ferociously afterwards. Duke and Tristan were left looking dumbfounded, both of them having fallen to their backsides on the lawn in front of Tea's house.

The two boys would've surely hung around longer, trying to fathom what it was they were to do next, but they were quickly reminded of their 'instructions' when a second story window of the house smashed, and a framed photo of Tea and Tristan exploded in glass and wood on the nearby road. Several more photos and other bits of 'friendship' memorabilia began hurtling out of the house, breaking up as they hit the hard ground below.

When a ceramic mug Tristan had made for Tea in pottery class narrowly missed Duke's head, the duo seemed to realize the urgency of the situation, and thus scurried to their feet. They hurriedly ambled around, somewhat brainlessly for a few minutes, before Duke noticed an iron gutter lid in the centre of the road. He pointed at it, yelling dramatically to Tristan while he ran over to it. Tristan soon joined him, and the two teens managed to lift the lid. The tunnel going down looked dark and was smelly. An incredibly ominous, murky pit laid waiting for the two boys several feet below. Duke and Tristan looked at each, their noses scrunched up.

"I'm not going down there," Duke declared.

"Me neither," Tristan protested.

"Well _one of us_ has to go _down_," Duke pointed out.

"Well it won't be _me_," Tristan stated confidently.

"Oh yeah it _will_," Duke said with authority in his tone.

"Do I need to remind you which one of us is the bigger man, _Duke_?" Tristan asked threateningly.

"Well I think the _bigger man _should be less reluctant to go down there, _Tristan_," Duke mocked.

"_No_, I think the_ bigger man _should kick your butt and _make you _go down there," Tristan hinted sardonically.

"Really? Well I'm _astounded_ that you can think _at all!_ And I'd like to see you _try_ and make me go down there!" Duke barked.

"Oh yeah? Well maybe I will!" Tristan yelled, shoving Duke.

"I'm gonna kick your sorry butt!" Duke retorted, shoving Tristan back.

The duo then commenced in a round of _fisty-cuffs_, that was at its pinnacle when Duke tackled Tristan to the ground and the two of them began rolling around, grappling for dominance in the fight. They were rolling around all over the road, throwing uncoordinated punches and attempting to strangle parts of each other's bodies that didn't require air to begin with. There were suddenly cars going backwards and forwards along the once quiet street, car horns going off and abuse getting screamed out of the driver's side windows. Luckily the duo missed any car-based harm, remaining unfazed when they narrowly missed being run over time and time again.

It seemed that _nothing_, absolutely _nothing_, could tear these two "manly men" apart from each other. They were intent on smearing each other all over the road, their fight turning extra ugly when Duke began biting and Tristan began shooting "gollies" everywhere as an act of defence. And while it had been stated previously that _nothing _could hope to stop this fight of masculine dominance, eventually something did. It came in the form of their own ignorance. Collectively as one, they rolled several feet to the far left and suddenly the ground had failed them. They clung to each other, screaming, before finally landing in a pool of water.

Duke surfaced first. Gasping for air he waded to what appeared to be a ledge. He clawed himself onto it, breathing heavily. Tristan came swimming over a short while later.

"Man, that was _awesome_," he boasted, clambering up on the ledge as well and standing on Duke in the process.

Duke remained less impressed by the ordeal, picking himself up onto his feet. He examined his surroundings, realizing they were in the sewers. He noticed the hole they'd fallen down, the light billowing into the dark sewer via it. Duke scrunched his nose up and began trying to wring the sewer water out from his clothes and hair.

Tristan, oddly considering his earlier act of defiance against going into the sewer, didn't seem as bothered by the nauseating water he was drenched in. He merely waited for Duke to finish preening himself.

"Let's go find that lettuce then," Duke sighed, setting off along the dark canals, making sure to keep to the ledge. Tristan walked alongside him, next to the sewer wall.

"Hey…what's that gross smell?" Tristan eventually asked.

"You lifted your arms," Duke sarcastically replied.

"No way! YOU opened your mouth!" Tristan retorted defensively.

"No, your ears are so big that the smell of your rotting brain is wafting out of them!" Duke argued back.

"Yeah, well…you opened your…_butt_," Tristan struggled to comeback.

"You _are _a butt," Duke cunningly retorted.

"NO WAY!" Tristan yelled back, angrily shoving Duke with enough force that he pushed him off the ledge and into the stagnant, smelly water.

* * *

The sun had begun to set by now, and orange-red light shone over the Kaiba manor. Yugi was commenting repetitively how beautiful it looked from the kitchen window, all the while preparing dinner for the Kaiba brothers. Seto was slouched at the kitchen table, grinding his teeth together angrily, regretting his foolish move earlier that day of suspecting Yugi to have learnt his lesson. Apparently chasing him around the manor and out the front door, all the while wielding an antique candleholder, just wasn't enough to drum into Yugi's head that he was not welcome into Kaiba's home.

Mokuba was happy that Yugi had come back, and _double happy _when he introduced to the younger Kaiba brother 'Breakfast for Dinner'. Mokuba had never experienced such a thing, but was eager to see what it would be like to eat his usual breakfast feast at night instead. Seto scoffed at the plan and bluntly, under his breath, declared it a 'cheap shortcut'. But Mokuba would not let his brother's negativity shadow the event and had keenly agreed to let Yugi cook dinner tonight.

And so there Yugi was, hunched over the stove, spatula in hand, creating a masterpiece he'd named "Bellissimo Eggs". From what Kaiba could see, they were merely eggs, frying away in the fry pan, but he resolved to roll his eyes and ignore Mokuba's interest in the food, instead of making a scene about it.

"Gee Mokuba, I sure am glad you like my eggs. Grandpa sure isn't as fond!" Yugi beamed happily, turning from the stove to grin at Mokuba. Kaiba couldn't contain a small laugh that escaped his throat; so that old man _did _have some sense after all.

Yugi and Mokuba continued to have their little "Solomon Vs. Egg" discussion in the background, but Seto, wanting to detach himself from this conversation, let his mind wander. He found himself envisioning a beautiful scenario: Yugi was happily blabbering on stupidly, distracted enough to not notice his fried eggs begin to mutate into a horrible beast, which eventually grew several angry looking eyes and a large mouth filled with pointed teeth that it used, swiftly, to devour Yugi.

Kaiba chuckled blissfully at his fantasy. He was just going to end it there, but suddenly thought "why not take it further?", and the next moment the beast had grown twice the size of an elephant and was heading down the main street of Domino City, eating all of Yugi's stupid friends and family, as well his Grandfather's game shop. Kaiba snorted aloud at this, not realizing that the noise had attracted Mokuba and Yugi's attention to him. Instead, his fantasy proceeded, continuing on to follow the egg-beasts travel across the world, devouring anyone Kaiba didn't like. Eventually a Kaiba Corp flag was added to the monster's design, and Kaiba envisioned himself riding atop it while laughing crazily.

Pulling his napkin closer and a pen, Kaiba began to erratically scribble down what the egg-beast looked like, considering the thought of taking it to Pegasus to propose as a potential Duel Monster card. Yugi and Mokuba eyed Seto suspiciously for a moment, but eventually shrugged his behaviour off, merely content that he had found something to entertain himself with.

The night progressed on rather smoothly after that point. Whenever Kaiba felt himself getting enraged from Yugi's presence, he merely looked down at his demented, egg-based creation scribbled on his napkin, and snorted gleefully.

Before bed, Kaiba placed his beloved drawing on his bedside table, even going as far as to kiss it goodnight. For the first time in a while, despite it just being messy scrawl on tissue, Kaiba felt as though he had an ally in his manor.


	2. The Eviction

******Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi and Toei Animation. Any other copyrighted material/references belong to their rightful owners.**  


* * *

**Yu-Glue-Oh**

**Chapter Two: The Eviction  
**

* * *

Early the next day, Yugi awoke before the Kaiba brothers and, as usual, went tinkering around the manor, equipped with various cleaning utensils and a pink apron. He weaved through each and every room in the manor, cleaning it as he saw fit. When the feeling of pride at being a good Samaritan seemed closed to bursting point, Yugi decided that he wanted to share it with some of his other friends, and thus went skipping off into the street.

He soon reached Bakura's house. It was a bomby-looking place that he'd just recently decided to rent. Rather uncharacteristically of the Bakura _Yugi_ knew and loved, there were old tyres, torn clothes, shattered bottles, bent chunks of rusted metal and just general trash littering the yard. There was a man 'sleeping' on the grass under a tree several meters away, and some red substance, that Yugi assumed was innocent poster paint, was splattered in various places on the pavement, grass and on the front porch of Bakura's place. Yugi rubbed his hands together eagerly; this place was going to be a _blast _to clean up. But as the short hero approached the porch, intent on letting Bakura know that he was here (again), he noticed a note nailed to the door.

"_Dead till further notice. Everyone stay OUT. That includes you, Yugi. In fact, ESPECIALLY YOU, Yugi,_" Yugi read aloud. He pondered on the note for a little while, and then inspected the house closer, noticing that all the windows were boarded up from the inside. "I hope Bakura's alright. I guess I'll just come back later," Yugi declared. There was a loud, angry-sounding curse that erupted from the house, but Yugi did not seem to hear it. He turned on his little feet somewhat solemnly, then sulked back to the Kaiba manor.

By the time Yugi came back to the Kaiba manor, Mokuba was up and about out of his bed. He smiled happily when he saw Yugi coming back, but was disheartened at the look of disdain on Yugi's face.

"Yugi, what's wrong?" Mokuba asked with worry.

"Oh, nothing… Bakura just wasn't home, is all," Yugi pouted, slumping through the front door.

"Don't worry, I've got _just _the thing to cheer you up!" Mokuba grinned.

Several minutes later, Yugi and Mokuba found themselves in the laundry room. The Kaiba manor had the highest-ranked, best-working, front-loader washing machine that money could buy, and Mokuba was intent on using it for one of his glorious experiments.

This particular experiment was two birds with one stone. Mokuba got to see something he'd always wanted to see, and Yugi would have something to clean. It was for these two purposes that the washing machine was filled with several packets of oats, and then turned on. Mokuba seated himself before the glass window of the washing machine. Thank the Lord for that hole; it provided so much entertainment. So much so, in fact, that it had Yugi and Mokuba giggling happily within minutes.

Kaiba heard the ruckus in the laundry and, rather reluctantly, came to investigate what was going on. The sight he found did nothing to impress him. Yugi and Mokuba were both in front of his prized washer, watching it as it worked. This alone perturbed Kaiba, but when he took several steps into the room, he felt veins begin to pop from his forehead.

"What are you doing?!" he roared angrily, causing Mokuba and Yugi to jump.

"Don't worry, Seto," Mokuba hurried to say. "Yugi's going to clean it up. He _wants _something to clean," Mokuba explained, as though it was obvious what they were doing.

"What? So you're ruining my stuff, wasting my precious porridge oats _and, _perhaps _worst of all, _you're ENCOURAGING HIM?!" Kaiba bellowed.

"Well…when you put it like that," Mokuba began, but he could not finish his sentence, for Seto had begun to yell incoherently, pulling his hair out at the same time. Kaiba continued this hair-pulling frenzy in the laundry room for several seconds longer, before he turned on his tall legs and stalked out, still yelling.

He disappeared down the hallway, out of Mokuba and Yugi's sight, and his bedroom door slammed closed a moment later. Inside Kaiba's bedroom, Seto was heaving crazily, a sort of rage sweeping over him that he was struggling to contain. He stumbled desperately to his bedside table, hoping to feel calmed by the image of his Egg-Beast, but as he collapsed on his knees before his bedside table, mortification swept over him.

"Wh…where is it?" he gasped. Violently, he began pushing things off his bedside table; his lamp, his alarm clock, a tissue box, a glass of water – but still, the napkin with his 'baby' drawn on it did not surface. He roared and screamed, tearing his entire room apart in search of his drawing, but his search was utterly futile. He soon sat in a crumpled heap against his bed, sweaty and frazzled looking, rocking backwards and forwards, asking himself aloud, over and over again, where his drawing had gone to.

Finally one too many veins popped out of Kaiba's forehead, and it prompted him to angrily get to his feet. He stormed from his room, following the sound of girlish giggles until he found what he was looking for.

"YOU! You did this! Where is it? Where is my Egg-Beast?" Kaiba bellowed, grabbing Yugi by the scruff of his neck and pulling him up, away from the washing machine that was still swirling the oats around carelessly.

"Your…what?" Yugi blinked, staring at Kaiba innocently, having no clue what he was talking about.

"Don't you play dumb, Moto! It was sitting on my bedside table. I _know _you did something to it! You've taken it for yourself, haven't you? Gonna sell it to Pegasus before I get the chance, are you?" Kaiba yelled accusingly, spit flying from his mouth and showering upon Yugi with every word.

"Wait, you don't mean that piece of tissue on your bedside table, do you?" Yugi asked. "I'm sorry Kaiba… I sorta chucked that out this morning. If we're fast, we might be able to get it before the garbage man comes," Yugi offered apologetically. Kaiba's eyes suddenly flew wide open. He bolted for the closest window facing the road just in time to see said garbage truck disappearing down the road, away from the Manor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kaiba screamed, falling to his knees. Mokuba and Yugi looked quite worried, but said nothing; they merely watched on. Eventually, whilst looking tired and dishevelled, Kaiba shakily got back onto his feet. He unsteadily turned around and dragged himself back over to Yugi and Mokuba, a look of sheer rage splayed on his face.

"You'll _rue _this day, Moto. I can half-tolerate you cleaning my house, cooking my meals and showering us all with your sickening love and kindness, but when you sneak into my room and take my Egg-Beast plans, then destroy them before I can make them into a torturous nightmare for you…" Kaiba growled, his eye twitching threateningly.

"This means war, and you'll regret this," Kaiba continued, as he began to back away towards the door. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But one day, one day _soon, _you'll regret you ever waddled your skinny rump through my front door," he glowered, pointing at Yugi accusingly.

A moment later, Kaiba had turned on his heel and swiftly exited. His bedroom door closed shortly afterwards. Seto knew what must be done now. Yugi had gone _too far_.

Today he would prepare the tank.

_Tonight _he would be _gluing_ together a magical collage of his time spent with _Yugi_.

* * *

There was only one thing that Joey despised more than the news - _the morning news_. To make matters worse, said news was plastered on every available channel, leaving him with little to do. Luckily for him, his entertainment plans were about to become spiced up.

Tea's doorbell rang and she merrily skipped downstairs calling "I'll get it". When she reached the door, her smiled faded.

"Tea, can we use your shower?"

"I call shotgun!"

"Oh no you don't! I asked, I get to use it first!"

"_No way_! You'll use up all the hot water!"

"_So will you!_ You're so dumb you'll probably stand in the stall for 20 minutes, trying to figure out where you are and why you're there!"

"I'm not dumb! _You're dumb!"_

"It's final. I'm using the shower first. No ifs or buts. I can't let my hair stay like this for too long, or it'll totally destroy my image."

"Hah! You said shower and butt in the same sentence,"

"_Did not!"_

"Did to."

"Did not!"

"Did to."

"Did not!"

"Did to."

"Did not!"

"Hey…dude, I just had a thought. We could like…have a shower at the same time."

"Tristan, the _closest_ you'd get to that happening, is us standing in the rain together. And from this point on, _I'll be sure not to do that with you either!_"

"It was just a thought, Duke!"

"Ahem! _Where _is Scuffles?" Tea finally intervened. Duke and Tristan stopped their bickering, turning to look at Tea with stupid expressions on their faces.

"What the heck is a _scuffles_?" Tristan asked foolishly.

"I think she's talking about the compacted lettuce," Duke pointed out.

"Oh…" Tristan said. He thought for a moment, "You mean the green pie?" he asked.

"No, the compacted lettuce," Duke snapped.

"Dude, it was _totally _not a lettuce. We've been through this like, a _billion_ times," Tristan complained.

"If we'd been through it a billion times, then your stupid head would've exploded. There's no way your tiny brain could comprehend such a big number!" Duke chastised. Tristan got especially huffy after this comment and grabbed Duke by his front. His spare hand rose up in a fist, intent on smacking Duke in the chops with it. Tea disliked violence, particularly when it took place on her doorstep, so she stepped between Tristan and Duke.

"Tristan, beating people up will not solve your—eww! Why are you guys all wet?" Tea shrieked, when she made the mistake of placing a hand each on the two boys' chests. She recoiled immediately, backing away into her house, eyeing the boys with disgust.

"I dunno," Tristan shrugged, letting Duke go.

"We fell in the sewer," Duke spat, looking unimpressed.

"Eww! That is disgusting!" Tea squealed, looking around frantically before settling to run her soiled hand on the closest wall, as if hoping to get the germs off.

"Well _you _told us to go down there!" Duke protested, believing _he _should be the one screaming and rubbing himself on walls right now.

"Yeah, I also told you to find Scuffles, so where is he?" Tea collected herself, putting on her angry demeanour, hands secured to her hips expectantly.

"The compacted lettuce? We couldn't find it," Duke said uncaringly, strolling into the house. He couldn't help but like the way Tea frantically moved out of his way, as though she was in fear of his sewer germs rubbing off on her.

"Yeah, we couldn't find the _green pie_, so we gave up, _permanently_," Tristan added, equally as uninterested. He too waltzed past Tea and into her house, bee-lining for the couch were he settled next to (a perhaps equally smelly) Joey. Duke in the meantime, sauntered into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Tea could stand to tolerate Duke in her shower, but outwardly gagged at the thought of sewer water on her couch. She stomped over to Tristan and stood in front of him, blocking his view of the TV.

"Hey, come on, Tea, the TV's on!" Tristan complained, looking thoroughly upset.

"It's the _news_. You _hate _the _news_," Tea said through gritted teeth.

"Do not," Tristan argued. With this response, Tea took a mere step to her left, unblocking Tristan's view of the TV. She watched him intently as he sat, 'watching' the news. Sweat soon formed on Tristan's forehead, his eyes began to quiver, he sucked his lower lip into his mouth and bit it, his nostrils flared and his breathing became erratic. Ten more seconds and he cracked.

"Okay, okay! I can't take it anymore!" Tristan yelled, he suddenly grabbed the remote from Joey's hands and hurled it across the room. It collided with a closed window, broke the glass, and then went flying outside. Joey screamed and hurled himself off the couch with so much force that it nearly toppled backwards in his wake. Tristan did a similar thing, stumbling over the coffee table and tipping it (as well as Joey's food and drink) over as he rushed after Joey, out the front door. Tea could hear the two of them outside screaming and panicking.

"Dude, we gotta find dat thing!" Joey yelled frantically.

"I know man! I have no idea what I was thinkin'!" Tristan cried back, somewhat apologetically.

"How could you lose sometin' so valuable?" Joey scolded, rustling through Tea's rosebushes outside and screaming girlishly when they prickled him.

"I dunno man, but hands down, I've never done _anything_ so stupid, thoughtless and insensitive in my entire life!" Tristan attempted to repent. Thanks to this utterly brainless comment, Tea began to feel her blood boil. She began to shake all over and settled to storm outside and give Tristan a piece of her furious mind.

She swung the door open, took a step out and began to scream, "Tristan you dim-witted, thick, stupid, _moron_! I swear, if you-"

"What…what da heck is dat thing?" Joey suddenly cried. Tea could see it too, and it had been the thing to stop her midsentence. She stood on the doorstep of her house, gawking, her eyes fixated fearfully at the far end of the street. Was that…? No, it couldn't be. There was no way that was _Yugi_ being chased by that big green thing. Sadly, Joey soon confirmed the ghastly speculation that Tea was trying to shrug off.

"YUUG!" Joey screamed, before he went charging off down the street. His blonde hair was billowing madly across his face, and he was yelling obscenities as he rushed towards Yugi.

"I'm coming, Yugi!" Tristan also yelled a second later. He too went charging off down the road. Tea screamed after them both, rushing out of her house to the middle of the road.

Getting closer, Joey noted the large tank that was chasing Yugi. Kaiba was _somehow _manning the tank, or it seemed he was, though he had his head and shoulders sticking out of the gunner's hatch (as opposed to the driver's hatch). He was laughing crazily, dramatic female opera music billowing out from inside the tank.

"Kaiba, stop!" Yugi was pleading, as he desperately tried to outrun the green, Kaiba Corp tank. He was about two meters ahead of it, but he was getting tired, aware that he wouldn't be able to keep running on his tiny legs for much longer.

"This is for sneaking an extra spoonful of sugar on my cornflakes when Mokuba wasn't looking, Moto!" Kaiba laughed manically, ignoring Yugi's pleas. He cranked up the volume on his stereo and increased the tank's the speed. Yugi wailed in desperation, contemplating letting the Pharaoh "out to play". He soon decided against this decision, for the Pharaoh would surely be too _old fashioned_ to understand what the tank was, or how dangerous it was. If anything, he'd probably turn around and try to duel with it. No, Yugi could not and would not risk such a thing.

"Back off Kaiba!" Joey suddenly roared. Yugi looked up and noticed him charging forwards.

"Joey, no!" Yugi screamed, but he was too late. Joey came flying up to the tank, thrusting one of his fists into its front. As was to be predicted, his insignificant fist merely deflected off the hard sheen wall of the tank. Joey hobbled on his feet, waving his hand around painfully. As the tank was actually travelling quite slow, all else considered, Joey was able to evade getting run over, joining Yugi's side as he jogged for his life.

Sadly Tristan, who had seen Joey's failed attempt at stopping the tank, did not learn. He came charging, as equally fast as Joey had, towards the tank. Instead of hitting the front of the tank, Tristan opted to hurl his eager fist at the turret. He was unlucky enough to hurl his fist straight down the turret neck, where he got stuck up to his shoulder. He screamed, feebly kicking as he was lifted off the ground as a result. Tristan's violent kicking did nothing whatsoever to help Joey and Yugi, who now had to contend with dodging Tristan's big feet, as well as concentrate on running forwards.

Kaiba's level of satisfaction skyrocketed after Tristan's move of stupidity, and he cackled uncontrollably, banging a fist on the tank's roof to try and vent his feeling of entertainment further. Tristan continued to scream and thrash for several seconds before Kaiba got bored with him. He aimed his turret high, much to Tristan's horror, and fired. Tristan's screams could be heard across the neighbourhood as he was sent flying back towards Tea's house. Perhaps it was an act of God, for Tristan landed in the most convenient place available.

Tea watched in mortification as the airborne Tristan destroyed her roof. A moment later, from out in the street, Tea could hear Duke screaming angrily inside the house for Tristan to get out of the bathroom, and to "wait his turn". When Tristan apparently didn't move or leave, Duke came storming out of the house, a towel around his waist.

"Tea! Tell Tristan to wait his turn!" Duke barked, but his attention was swiftly averted. "What is _that_?" he asked, spotting the commotion heading his way down the street.

"R-run!" Tea screamed, she turned tail and began to flee down the street. Duke followed suit, and eventually the tank had gained on the pair. Yugi, Joey, Tea and Duke were all running in a straight line, screaming and trying to pull each other along. None of them seemed to have the brains to simply get off the road.

"Kaiba, have mercy!" Yugi pleaded once more.

"Why? So you can claw your way back into my manor and _alphabetize my underwear _again?!" Kaiba yelled furiously.

"No, no! I swear I won't!" Yugi cried, tears now running down his face. His tears spilled backwards, splashing onto the dirt marks that Kaiba's tank had accumulated during its ride out. Kaiba glowered, his demented brain taking even _this _as an act of _kindness_, believing Yugi was now attempting to wash his tank for him.

"Grrr, DIE!" Kaiba roared, slamming on the accelerator as far as it would go. The tank picked up speed, its four victims screaming girlishly in response to its speed lurch.

"This, this reminds of that time, on prom night," Duke panted.

"You…you mean that time where those angry fathers chased you?" Joey asked, also out of breath.

"Yeah, and if I outran them, I'll sure as heck outrun this _chump_!" Duke yelled determinedly. He instantly began to pick up speed, his towel flapping majestically in the wind. His outburst seemed to fuel the morale for the rest of his friendship squad, and they too picked up speed.

"You're right, Duke! And we'll do it together!" Yugi declared proudly. Kaiba retched at their friendship love.

"We'll see about that!" Kaiba yelled, but he was sickened to see that Yugi and Duke were proving true to their words. Tea and Joey too had increased their determination. The four of them were excelling, speeding out of reach from the tank. They seemed to be thriving, _pulsing _on their friendship spew. It made Kaiba infuriated. He tried to go faster, but the tank was at its limit. His geek-squad victims began to speed ahead of him by one, two, _five whole metres_.

But Kaiba was intent on running them over; he would not give in either. At least...that's what he thought. If only he'd taken into account the off chance that something would wander onto the road that he _didn't _subconsciously wish death upon every waking second of his life.

Suddenly, before Kaiba himself had really acknowledged what was happening, the tank came to a skidding stop. It jerked violently to a halt, the momentum throwing Kaiba around briefly. There was a smell of burning rubber in the air and the sound of the tank hushed considerably. Yugi was the first to stop running, his friends following his example after a second or two. They all turned to look down the street, wondering what had made Kaiba put on the brakes.

The look on Kaiba's face was strange. His eyes were wide, his brow was furrowed, his mouth was a thin line, his nostrils were flared, and he was staring intently, at the road directly in front of his tank. Tea followed his line of sight and was joyed at what she saw.

"Scuffles!" Tea cheered, rushing back to the tank. Tea picked the turtle up from the centre of the road and cradled it. "Isn't Kaiba so nice, stopping for you to cross the road like that?" she beamed. Kaiba scowled at this statement, how _dare_ that wench suggest such a thing. Before Kaiba could open his mouth to protest, Yugi and Joey and clambered atop the tank, on either side of Kaiba.

"Aw, you _do _care," Yugi grinned stupidly. Kaiba made a noise of disgust when he found two short arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulders.

"Get off of me!" Kaiba panicked, bringing his hands above the tank where he waved them around disapprovingly, but Yugi would not relent in his hug. Duke and Tea also climbed atop the tank while Kaiba wasn't looking. It seemed they'd all forgotten why the tank and Kaiba were even here in the first place, for suddenly they were all patting Kaiba on the back and lavishing him with heroic praise. Kaiba repetitively told them to get off his tank and to get back in front of it so he could grind them into the pavement, but they merely chuckled as though he was joking.

"There's one thing I don't understand, though," Tea piped up after several rounds of praising Kaiba had come to pass. "Why was Scuffles out here? Didn't he get flushed?" she questioned.

"You mean da mouldy bread roll? Oh, I chucked dat thing out da window yesterday, Tea," Joey enlightened.

"_WHAT?!_" Duke suddenly yelped. "You mean it was out here the whole time, and it was never even _in _the sewer? For cryin' out loud," he complained exasperatedly.

There was a silence that followed this comment. Everyone looked blank for a moment (bar Kaiba who was grinding his teeth angrily), before they stupidly began guffawing at Duke and Tristan's pointless exploits. Kaiba was caught in the dead centre of this stupid, pointless laughter, and his eye began to twitch. He was beginning to realise the horrible truth about his feuding with Yugi and friends.

He would _never _win, would he? Kaiba began to feel very depressed about this revelation. And would he _ever _be able to make some _beautiful_ art piece out of Yu-Glue-Oh? This was all becoming too much for poor Kaiba; he settled that he would just throw in the towel and give up his hatred for Yugi and his friends. He would just put his pride aside and learn to tolerate them. It would be a bleak, perhaps meaningless, existence for Kaiba, but it would have to do. He began to feel even more depressed now, but luckily those fools always knew what to say to reinspire Kaiba's hatred.

"Say Kaiba, can we drive dis thing through da drive through?"

"Hey, that's a great idea Joey! Let's go to Burger King."

"Oh Yugi, can't we go somewhere healthy?"

"Tea, health food restaurants don't have _drive throughs_. If you were eating health food, you'd be fit enough to walk to the counter."

"Oh come on, Duke. We can visit _both_ places, Tea. I'm sure Kaiba won't mind! Will you Kaiba?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"Is...dat a no?"


End file.
